Embracing Imperfection
Learning to soften, surrender, and even laugh at life’s glorious messiness
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. . . It's a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that is preventing us from flight.” —Brené Brown
If I were to list some of my imperfections that have rattled my cage in past years, it would be these:
My new passport photo came out awful. (I will have to live with that face with for the next ten years.)
I weeded a flower bed within an inch of its life, and now it looks even worse than it did before. (I will have to look at that gaping hole for the rest of the season and be reminded of how “uncaring” I was.)
I improperly ejected the computer backup drive, screwed it up. (Resolving this problem will require spending time I don’t have.)
From the way I’ve reacted, you’d think my life depended on these things: like no foreign country will let me in for the way I look, or that I’ll be sued for garden malpractice, or that all is lost when it comes to technological support.
Are these things worth losing my peace over?
The answer, of course, is no.
No one died. No one got hurt.
Just my ego.
I can be a real terrorist when it comes to myself. I see no compassion, tenderness, or forgiveness in how I hold these realities. No allowing things to be just as they are, such as they are.
And that is because I forgot. I fell into an old habit. I was being unaware.
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This is where cycling back to the first three stages of our work—slowing down, simplifying, and sensing—come in super handy to help lead us to that awareness; to that place of peace, acceptance, and surrender.
By taking the time to gently reflect on the sneaky ways we inflict pain on ourselves, we get to feel and heal it. We get to move past the stuckness and into the light.1
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Speaking of lightening up around our imperfections, there’s a really funny video that made me laugh so hard. It's a perfect example of pure imperfection inserting itself into pure seriousness, disrupting it, and tearing right through its veneer.
You can watch it below.
May it — and the steps below — work to chip away and dismantle the twenty-ton shields of perfectionism you may be carrying around.
Ahhh 😉
Easing into Surrender
What you just read is excerpted from “Allow Imperfection,” Chapter 37 of my book A Year for You.
It is just a small taste in our ongoing series on cultivating the 5 steps to spaciousness:
slowing down, simplifying, sensing, surrendering, and self-care.
The commentary, video I mentioned, and journal prompts below — with full access to all content we’ve covered so far on this Journey to a Lighter You — is being made available to paid subscribers. Join us!
Releasing the twenty-ton shields of perfectionism…
And leaning into their lighter side
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What are some of the ways that perfectionism has held you hostage?
What are some of the ways the Universe winks at you, inserts itself inconveniently into your life, and nudges your “serious” bone to lighten up?
Let’s find out…
and let some of it go.