The Rule of One
The magic of small steps leading to big changes
As someone who knows too well what happens to New Year’s resolutions when they don’t pan out (read: what happens to our self-esteem when we don’t live up to the expectations or goals we set for ourselves), I wanted to dedicate this post to the concept of one.
In other words: to simplifying.
Whatever it is that you are aiming for this year, or challenges you (drives you nuts, pushes your buttons, makes you go into cold sweats, stretches you beyond your comfort zone)… my invitation (challenge if you will) would be to reduce your attention or area of focus to a unit, or increment, of one. And repeat it.
One as in…
One thing. One pile. One area. One minute. One thought. One step. One task. One breath. One intention. One conversation. One Minute. One day. One week. One month. One whatever…
At a time.
With awareness.
Taking that one small conscious step has a magical way of leading to the next one. And the next after that. It also magically reduces the noise, stress, and effort that clouds our thinking and gets in the way of real progress and lasting change.
Just one step. It’s all you need to activate the part of the brain that grows new habits for good.
As the saying goes, “neurons that fire together wire together.” Every time you repeat a task, your brain is creating new wiring, a new infrastructure to support your desired goal (and a clearer way of life).
I call it the “reduce and repeat” approach. Or “R&R” for short.
What new task, habit, or goal would you like to adopt (or change) in your life this year?
Break it down for us, and let us be inspired.
If you could use some ideas, and a better understanding of how your small steps can lead to big(ger) changes, keep reading. Below you’ll find some ways to play… ways to slow-drip your way to freedom.
Ahhh 🏡
Breaking it down
“If scientific concepts and big unpronounceable words make your head spin like they do mine sometimes, you'll love the wonderful little book that helped me understand what exactly happens biochemically when we get lost in overwhelm La-la Land.
The book is called One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way and was written by psychologist Dr. Robert Maurer. In it, he talks about the role of the amygdala—the three-million-year-old almond-sized part of our brain that governs the fight-or-flight response. He explains why humans get overwhelmed and makes a compelling case for doing what feels so counterintuitive for most of us: going slow and simplifying.
According to Maurer… there is a simple way to bypass our internal wiring; a way to trick the amygdala into thinking that everything is cool and right with the world. Maurer suggests taking the tiniest, sometimes even the most “embarrassingly trivial” steps in the beginning.
As Maurer puts it:
As your small steps continue and your cortex starts working, the brain begins to create “software” for your desired change, actually laying down new nerve pathways and building new habits.
You will find in the long run that snipping off a dead leaf from the plant or fluffing up the pillows or sweeping the kitchen floor—with awareness every day—will create more lasting benefits than if you go on an unconscious binge of clearing the nightmare in your basement. Clearing one small thing at a time with intention is all it takes to soften resistance, get the energy moving, and build the sense of safety needed to clear an entire household.”1
Easing in
The sky is the limit for how to apply Maurer’s methods, or Kaizen — the Japanese concept of continuous improvement — but if you could use some specifics to get you started, here are some examples of ways to apply the Rule of One:
Clearing out the closet? Just clear one garment… (a day… for a week… or a month)… with awareness.
Overshopping or overspending? Buy one less thing each time, or take one thing out of your shopping cart at the supermarket. (And allow your cringy, resisting self not to like it.)
Overflowing email inbox? Set a timer and address what you can in one minute.
Cutting out caffeine, alcohol, sugar? Reduce the quantity by one sip, or one teaspoon, every day until the cravings subside.
Overwhelmed? Take a deep breath. And another. Feel what overwhelm feels like. Repeat: I choose ease.
Those are just a few of my small drip ideas. Do you have other ideas? We’d love to hear them!
So again I ask, what new task, habit, or goal would you like to adopt (or change) in your life this year?
In case you missed it…
Excerpted from Chapter 18 — “Choose Ease,” Your Spacious Self: Clear the Clutter and Discover Who You Are by Stephanie Bennett Vogt © Hierophant Publishing, 2012.