Spacious Detachment
Where compassionate observation leads to emotional freedom
Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.
—Eckhart Tolle
One of the benefits of slowing down is that it gives us space to practice that one thing we can all use more of: spacious detachment, which I would define simply as a way of
being bigger than our fears and tears through the conscious act of observing them.
Being a witness in this sense is a deep form of attention that we give to an experience without getting plugged into it, like watching a movie as it is playing out without getting lost in the storyline, drama, or character’s flaws and personalities.
While it might sound cold and heartless, being a detached observer is far from that. It is quite the opposite, in fact. As a witnessing presence you allow yourself to feel everything that arises deeply and compassionately. The only difference is that you are not taking the feelings personally.
Which begs the question: How do we observe without attachment and feel deeply at the same time?
It’s a bit like riding a bicycle and not falling down. In the beginning it requires focus and mindfulness. Later it becomes automatic: you simply are both unplugged and compassionate at the same time; able to handle the bumps that come your way without even thinking about it.
It takes practice to take in a bigger view than the narrow focus on what is causing you pain. It takes practice to grow the spacious muscle you need to embrace emotional charge without getting plugged in, or unhinged, by it.
Is there something that’s bothering you right now that could use some spacious witnessing? What happens when you observe the feelings without getting caught up in the emotional weather, the story, or the drama that triggered it in the first place? 1
Ahhh 🏡
Slowing Down Challenge
What you’ve just read comes from “Be the Witness,” Chapter 8 of A Year for You — the book we are using to cultivate the first of 5 steps to spaciousness: slowing down.
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Learn more about the“Spacious Way to a Lighter You” clearing series HERE.